Swatter-gate

For the most part...this blog - our lives - is pretty light-hearted. But Im about to get really serious on your ass...so be ready.

We think Kade was abused by his old daycare provider.

I know...shocking to say the least.

When we left our initial provider...we left because we werent happy with the structure (or lack thereof) of the program. That provider was kinda lazy...and just let the kids run amok all day long. Plus, while picking up the children, I witnessed the man of the house scream at Kade. Pretty much, that was the kids last day at that location. This all happened the beginning of November.

So Caton and I took an entire week to find a new place for the kids. We interviewed...visited...and eventually found Building Blocks Learning Center. While this place operated out of a house...it was run like a daycare center - with centers, and crafts, and structured time. So even though there was something that I couldnt quite put my finger on...we enrolled both the kids.

Well over the course of the next few months...the provider (her name is Phylis) and Kade's relationship got worse and worse. She would tell us that he was destructive - that he would break toys. She would tell us that he was a handful...but nothing that she couldnt handle.

Then we returned from Christmas (where the kids didnt go to the facility for about a week due to going to Texas for the bowl game.) And we were told that "before Christmas...Kade had woken up from his nap, gone into the kitchen, stolen the silverware out of the drawer, and thrown it into the trash." When we asked Kade about it...he waivered back and forth whether he did it or not. (But heck, at that point, if you ask a child enough times if the sky is purple...they will eventually say yes.) Anyways, I asked Phylis why she didnt see him do all of that...and she just really didnt have an answer for me.

Well, come to find out, she would typically take a nap while the children were sleeping. And at one point, Caton went to get the kids - during nap time - and he saw her sleeping!!! Like, even the sound of the door opening did not wake her up!!! What if there had been an emergency?!?! (Thats a whole 'nother issue right there!!!)

Anyways, then one day, when I went to pick up the kids, Kade was wearing his "spare clothes." And when I asked him what happened he said, "Ms. Phylis didnt let me go to the bathroom. And I peed on myself." She overheard that, and immediately dismissed the allegation saying that Kade tried to get up during nap time...and didnt ask permission...so she didnt let him go to the bathroom. Therefore, he wet himself. AND to top it all off...Kade told us that night that he had to clean up his pee all by himself...that she wouldnt help him.

But the straw that broke the camel's back was in mid-January, I went to get the kids and they were all sitting at the table for snack time. When Kade saw me walk in, he jumped up saying, "Mommy!!!" and came running to me. Phylis yelled at him to "Sit Down!" and told him, "I will tell you when you can get up!" By then I had had enough...and I went off on her. We pretty much "got into it" and she denied every allegation that I brought up to her. And when she said, "I mean, he steals things from me...", I quickly cut her off asking, "Well why havent you ever seen him steal anything...oh, thats right...because you are ASLEEP!!!"

Needlesstosay...my kids never set foot back in her center.

Fast forward to this past Monday...Kade and Weslie are now in an awesome daycare center. Kade is thriving...learning new things everyday and can write his name!!! We are very excited about this new place...and only hope that she doesnt decide to go back to teaching in the fall (which she is thinking about doing.)

Anyways, on Monday, Holly (his new teacher) got out the fly swatter to hit some bees that had gotten into the screened-in porch area and Kade's reaction to the swatter was, "(Gasp) Ms. Holly used to hit me with that." And Holly said, "Ms. Holly? What do you mean, Ms. Holly?" Then Kade corrected himself saying, "Oh, I meant Ms. Phylis."

Holly didnt want to make to huge a deal out of it...because she wanted to get as much information out of Kade as possible, so she just asked, "Well, was Ms. Phylis happy when she would hit you?" Kade replied, "NO!! She was mad at me."

Holly asked, "Would she hit you hard, or soft like this," and she kind of tapped Kade. Kade replied, "No, she would hit me hard."

Holly asked, "Where did she hit you?" Kade said, "On my hiney and my leg," motioning all up and down his upper leg area.

Then Holly asked if she hit any of the other kids and Kade said, "She never hit Weslie...but she would hit me."

Caton and I are just sick about this. So after I got home on Monday (Caton picked up the kids and learned about it before me) and Caton relayed all of this information...we decided that the only thing we can do (aside from Caton driving to her house and giving her the "eye for an eye" treatment) is to call DSS and file a report.

So that is exactly what I did yesterday afternoon. I called, and told the lady on the other end of the phone all of our concerns...and she said that the case would be referred to the Out of Home Investigations Department. I thought that meant that it would be put on the back burner...and nothing would really come of it.

Well, I was wrong.

Tomorrow, Caton, Kade and I will be meeting with a representative of the OHI Division of DSS and potentially an officer with the Columbia PD. She wants to ask Kade some questions...and the officer may have some questions of his own for a police report. So we will see where this all goes.

It just kills me that we left him with someone that we trusted...all the while, he was being hit. I guess you cant ever be too sure. But looking back, I wish I would have gone with my gut...I knew there was something about her that just wasnt sitting right with me...and had I gone with what I was feeling...we wouldnt be where we are right now.

Just makes me sick.